Member-only story

Holding My Own Book in My Hands

Emily J. Smith
7 min readJan 22, 2025

--

And sleeping with it like a baby.

Source: The author, 2025

Did I cry when I opened the box of books that roughly represents the past decade of my life? Not right away. My boyfriend dutifully held the camera, knowing I needed a video. It is neither my instinct nor my desire to document these moments visually. I hate looking at myself on camera, I hate the performance inherent in being filmed, and I extra hate feeling like I need to look acceptably attractive or whatever. But writers, especially debut authors with no name for themselves, are expected to produce “content.” And a video of an author opening her box of final copies is classic writer content.

Ok, so I was going to make a video!

I’ve always wondered, watching these videos from other authors — videos meant to appear spontaneous and off-the-cuff (the books are here!) — if they put on a special outfit and makeup in order to make them, or if people actually, like, wear jeans on an average day at home. Looking at the unopened box — my box, my hard work, my heart and soul manifested into a very heavy cardboard block — I decided I would not let concerns about “content” ruin this for me. I did not put on makeup or change my shirt or put extra product in my hair (though I did throw it up, this felt necessary), then I herded my family into my tiny office, and I opened my box. It only took a quick glance to know…

--

--

Emily J. Smith
Emily J. Smith

Written by Emily J. Smith

Writer and tech professional. My debut novel, NOTHING SERIOUS, is out Feb '25 from William Morrow / HarperCollins (more at emjsmith.com).

Responses (2)